To the Window, to the wall

OMG.....ok, so another song that has brainwashed me because of the beat........OMG these words are BAD!!!!!!!!!!!! But it is soooooooo fun to dance to.....hanging my head in shame that I love this song and these lyrics are sooooooooooo bad. Now I am pretty sure this is about a stripper too. And don't even get me started on the song "I am in love with a stripper"

Lil Jon and Eastside boys
[Chorus]
3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low 6x
To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skit skit motherf*cker (motherf*cker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)
To all skit skit motherf*cker (motherf*cker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)

Shortie crunk so fresh so clean can she f*ck that
Question been harassing me in the mind this bitch is fine
I done came to the club about 50th 11 times now can I play with yo pantyline
club owner said I need to calm down security guard go to sweating
Me now nigga drunk then a motherf*cker threaten me now

She getting crunk in the club I mine she work
Then I like to see the female twerking taking the clothes off BUCKEY naked
ATL. Hoe don’t disrespect it
Pa pop yo pussy like this cause yin yang twins in this bitch
Lil Jon and the East side boys wit me and we all like to see A*s and t*ties
Now bring yo a*s over here hoe and let me see you get low if you want this Thug
Now take it to the floor (to the floor) and if yo ass wanta act you can keep yo a*s where you at

3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low [6x]
To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skit skit motherf*cker (mother****er!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)
To all skit skit mother****er (motherf*cker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)

Let me see you get low you scared you, scared you
Drop dat a*s to the floor you scared you, scared you
Let me see you get low you scared you, scared you
Drop dat a*s to the floor you scared you, scared you
Drop dat a*s ya shake it fast ya
Pop dat a*s to the left and the right ya
Drop dat a*s ya shake it fast ya
Pop dat a*s to the left and the right ya
Now back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up
a back,back,back it up
Now stop ( O) then wiggle wit ya
Now stop ( O) then wiggle wit ya
Now stop ( O) then wiggle wit ya
Now stop ( O) then wiggle wit ya

3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low [6x]
To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skit skit motherf*cker (motherf*cker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)
To all skit skit motherf*cker (motherf*cker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)

Now give me my doe back and go get ya friend
Stupid bitch standing there while I’m drinking my hen
Steady looking at me Still asking questions
Times up n*gga pass me another contestant
Hoe move to the left if you ain’t bout 50th
Done talk through 3 or 4 songs already
looking at a nigga with yo palm all out bitch I ain’t even seen you dance
Twerk something baby work something baby
Pop yo ***** on the pole do yo thang baby
Slide down dat bitch
wit yo little bit then stop
Get back on the floor catch yo balance then drop
Now bring it back up clap yo ass like hands
I just wanna see yo a*s drity dance yin yang we done again
And put it on the map like annnnn

3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low [6x]
To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skit skit motherf*cker (motherf*cker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)
To all skit skit mother****er (mother****er!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)

Got dam (Got dam) ya ya’ll twreking alittle bit ladies
But ya got to twrek alittle bit harder then dat
now right now I need all the ladies dat know they look good tonite
(where my sexy ladies) we want ya’ll to do this **** like this
Bend over to the front touch toes back dat a*s up and down and get low (get low)
Bend over to the front touch toes back dat a*s up and down and get low (get low)
Bend over to the front touch toes back dat a*s up and down and get low (get low)
Bend over to the front touch toes back dat a*s up and down and get low (get low)

3,6,9 standing real fine move it to you sing it to me one mo time
Get low, Get low [6x]
To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drip down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)
To all skit skit motherf*cker (motherf*cker!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)
To all skit skit motherf*cker (mother****er!) all skit skit got dam (Got dam)

Down

For those that see me every day, I know you notice and I am sorry. I am trying to pull out of this funk I am in. I think knowing that spies are being sent into my classroom to document on me and just working for fucking bi-polar screwed up principals that have no fucking clue what they want has just finally gotten to me. I am trying, I promise. I now I have the Dell DJ back up and running and listening to nothing but upbeat music. I will pull out of this, but if I just seem to be more down than up, just give me some time. I will find my fake smile and paste it back on and no one with be the wiser ;-)

Also know that I am making time to get in some charcoaling and that is helping. I wish I knew how to draw sadness. I think it is time to put the punching bag back to its original purpose too.

Good news is, even with my drunken (and it wasn't because I was drinking no matter what hubs says!!!) fall and spraining my ankle and hurting my shoulder, bruising my elbow and my hand, I still lost 0.4 pounds without working out. See beer and tequila don't hurt any diet LMAO.

By the way....The damn Laffy Taffy song finally got me UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The beat is too good to dance to :-( I tried to not get into it. I swear, I think I was brainwashed.

Peace out.......See you all in hell tomorrow :-)

Life with Animals

IF I DID NOT HAVE DOGS ............. (some of these even apply to the cats in my life)
Author unknown.
1. I could walk around the yard barefoot in safety.
2. My house could be carpeted instead of tiled and laminated.
3. All flat surfaces, clothing, furniture, and cars would be free of Dog hair.
4. When the doorbell rings, it wouldn't sound like a 100 dog kennel.
5. When the doorbell rings, I could get to the door without wading through dog bodies which beat me there.
6. I could sit on the couch the way I wanted, without taking into consideration how much space several fur bodies would need to get comfortable.
7. I would not have strange presents under my Christmas tree-like dog bones, stuffed animals or have to answer to people why I wrap them.
8. I would not be on a first name basis with three vets.
9. The most used words in my vocabulary would not be: "out", "sit", "down", "come", "no", "stay", and "leave him/her/it ALONE".
10. My house would not be cordoned off into zones with baby gates or barriers.
11. My pockets would not contain things like poo bags, dog treats and an extra leash.
12. I would no longer have to spell the words B-A-L-L or F-R-I-S-B-E- E or W-A-L-K or C-O-O-K-I-E-S. (or T-R-E-A-T-S)
13. I would not have as many leaves INSIDE my house as outside.
14. I would not look strangely at people who think having their ONE dog ties them down too much.
15. I'd look forward to Spring and the melting of the snow instead of dreading "mud season".
16. I would not have to answer the question "Why do I have so many dogs?" from people who will never have the joy in their life of knowing they are loved unconditionally by something as close to an angel as they will ever get.
17. How empty my life would be....

Gotta love having my boys in my life!!!

Looking again

For those that read and know some of my crazier plights, one of them is the fact that I would LOVE to have a gay man in my life (I swear, NO stereotyping!!!!) I wanted one for Christmas, but Santa didn't leave him under the tree. So once again I travel out to Craigslist and try again to see what I might be able to dig up.

Here is the post:
31 year old female seeking gay male friend for conversation, movies, shopping and the occasional bar stop. Why? I love hetero men, but let's face it, eventually you are going to be looking for something a little more than a "friend", and I don't want that kind of confusion and mess in my life.
I am slightly high maintenance (although my husband and maybe even some good male friends will say more so), but I know how to have fun and can be a lot of fun to be around. I have found that I enjoy going out to bars occasionally (tried it some recently, didn't do it much in college because I had a daughter and she came first before partying). I am even gaining confidence to get on the dance floor and enjoy myself. I also want a movie partner. I love going, but hubby isn't big on it and my sister (my best friend in the world) has a busy life and can't always go with me. I don't know about you, but I don't like going to the movies alone and I like having someone to talk about the movie with later.
I consider myself to be fun loving, caring, a great listener (but want the same thing back). I am someone who is ready to have a good time and stop being JUST a mom, teacher and wife.

So I got a response today:
When you say you're high maintenance, what does that mean to a potential friendship? Thanks.

I guess that sounded really bad to say I was high maintenance, but I really am. I only feel it is right to let someone know that in advance. But then when he asked what that meant to a friendship I wasn't really sure how to respond. I explained what I meant by high maitenance with my materialistic side, but hubs says I also am emotionally.....Soo I will be asking a good friend just that, if I am high maitenance emotionally too and what does that mean exactly since hubs couldn't really explain. I think this friend can be brutally honest with me without hurting me, and I value his opinion. Everything is about self growth right??

I will keep you update on my messages, if I get any more responses.

Unknown Holiday

No wonder I don't want to be at work......or why I want to play around.......

January 27th is Fun at Work Day

I found that at this website.

Hormones

A funny for you all today....sent to me by one of my wonderful co-workers and although I am sure many of you have seen it....Men take special note.......

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff

And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect

And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds. Here have some chocolate.

Death is hard

Last night I had a dear friend pass away. This friend has been here every day for me. This friend puts a smile on my face, helps me get through a rough workout, and is there when I need a little solitude from Hubs and PITA. Rest in peace my dear Dell DJ20.

I have become so dependent on that little MP3 player. I listen to it every day. In the car, while on the computer, while trying to shut out the yelling between Hubs and PITA. I have no idea how I am going to be able to make it to Monday at the latest for my replacement (at least that is what Dell tells me). Thank God for good service plans. That accident clause that I got with the premium plan was the best money I have spent so far.

The only sad part.......ALL OF MY SONGS ARE GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had already started the process of moving CDs over to the player and had downloaded more music than you can imagine. I wasn't even close to having everything on there, but 478 songs are gone. I guess I will be doing a downloading frenzy every night until my replacement gets here.

My pimp name is: Sugartastic J. Rock

What's your Pimp Name?

Share your names!! I want to know them :-)

Recent adventures of Princess PITA

Well she is now officially 15 and I think trying to kill me. Last week we got into a talk about a message she had left on a boy's Xanga (blogs for teens) and it told the boy she wanted to be his bopper (for those of you not hip with the kid lingo...she wants to be his blow job chick). Given that she already was doing that with a boy that is only 3 houses down from mine, I freaked when I read her post to this boy.

~We interrupt this blog to let you in on some important information....all of PITA's sites and such, I have the passwords to and her Xanga is DIRECTLY linked to my e-mail, so I know when people post to her on there and I know when they update their sites. I just feel it is good parenting~

Well, I canceled any birthday party plans with friends due to this. I was going to take them to the movies, drop them off and let them have a good time and come back and get them at the end of the film. Well this boy is 16 and drives, PITA wanted to have him meet them there.....HELL NO!! Does this kid really think I am on crack?!? So that canceled ALL birthday stuff right there. We had a quiet night out as a family (just us no other big family things) and enjoyed the night.

On Saturday we had a talk with her counselor about everything.....well she thinks this is serious enough that we won't wait two weeks for an appointment, we are going back in on Saturday. I am just trying to decide now what kind of birth control to put her on. It isn't a matter of if, but when will I be putting her on it and we need to have a talk with the counselor about this. I know a lot of people would flame me for putting my 15 year old on BC, but I was pregnant at 15. I don't want her to go through the same thing and I am not going to be one of those parents that says "Not my kid".

Will keep you updated.

Men are happier people

What do you expect from such simple creatures?

• Your last name stays put.
• The garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can be President.
• You can never be pregnant.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
• You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• The world is your urinal.
• You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• Same work, more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• Wedding dress $5,000. Tux rental-$100.
• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood all the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
• You know stuff about tanks.
• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
• Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• You almost never have strap problems in public.
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
• Everything on your face stays its original color.
• The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
• You only have to shave your face and neck.
• You can play with toys all your life.
• Your belly usually hides your big hips.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
• You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
• You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
• You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

Happy 15th Birthday Princess PITA

It is hard to believe but Princess PITA has lived (although barely sometimes) to make it to her 15th birthday. As I sit here tonight thinking back on the events of late at night January 19, 1991, parts of my heart break. No one ever knew I was pregnant, but the lizard from under the rock. I remember not feeling well at all on the 19th, but not sure what my problem was. My nana (I miss her so much) even commented on how cranky I was and got into an argument with me about how I was going to give her great-grandchildren (to which I basically told her no way in hell). Around 11:30 at night with me in full pain, I finally woke someone up at my nana's home. I just happen to be staying with her in Mesquite instead of with my mom in the middle of no where close to Blue Ridge. It took me forever to get anyone to listen to me. I was told over and over again that I had to explain why I had to go to the hospital or they weren't going to take me. I remember being so frustrated and crushed at having to tell my nana that I was pregnant and in labor. She rushed me to the hospital and at 1:20am on January 20th Princess PITA entered this world. All 19 inches, 6 pounds and 12 ounces of her. I think I counted her fingers and toes a hundred times over the next couple of days. I remember nana telling me later that when she said she wanted great-grandchildren she didn't mean that night LOL

I also get to this day with happy memories, pain over missing my nana, and wondering what happened to another little girl who entered the world that night I remember reading in the paper the next morning about a baby girl who had been found alive behind a dumpster during the night. I can't help but wonder every January 20th where that little girl is today and if she is happy. I hope she found a home, I hope some family loves her. I always felt that she was probably the daughter of another scared teenager that didn't know what else to do. I send birthday wishes to her where ever she is and even though she doesn't know it, someone is thinking of her every January 20th and hoping she is safe and happy.

Bad teachers

How is it that bad teachers get praise and are showered upon when they make a student feel like this? This is an e-mail I received today from a student I taught last year. He pretty much lives in my classroom when he isn't in his 8th grade classes. I love him to death, but he can wear you out sometimes. Right after the incident he mentions, I saw him in the hall after first period and he said he needed to talk to me later....Me, being the one who will drop everything for someone in need (my counselor says I need to work on this....Thanks Hi LOL), I talk to him a bit in the hall. He is crying and shaken and very upset because he felt ridiculed in front of the whole class. So tonight this was the e-mail he sent me (by the way, the names have been changed to protect the innocent LMAO):

"I'M going to tell Ms. Brains " I'm not going to let what you said effect me because yesterday i left here crying. but i want you to know that i never want you to spoon feed me anything ever again and just because my mind went blank i went and asked you a question you blew up in my face so never again i will never ask you a question ever again because i have Mrs.Texasgrey Mr.StarWars and coach Grimace to help me with anything i need and they don't make me feel stupid every day because everyday i leave your class with no information so i think we should not talk to each other a lot or if we can not at all."

Just pisses me off that I get chewed for making women feel good about themselves and a teacher can make a kid want to curl up in a corner and not come out for days and told how f-ing great she is. And she can't even get to work on TIME!!!! By the way, one of us really should talk to Z's English teacher about his writing LOL

FYI National Popcorn Day: January 19th

National Popcorn Day
When : January 19th
The origins of this holiday are unknown. We have not found any information or documentation to confirm this is a true "National" day. But, don't let that pop (burst) your bubble, err pop your corn that is. It's a day to celebrate healthy (until you load it with salt and butter), and addicting popcorn.
Strangely, National Popcorn Day is in January, yet National Popcorn Month is October. According to tradition, it is celebrated on January 19th each year. There is some suggestion that Popcorn Day may, at one point, have been tied to the Superbowl. And, we found one reference to it being on January 30th.
On National Popcorn Day, we suggest you pop up some fresh popcorn, kick back and enjoy!

Woo Hoo

It is WONDERFUL!!! It is awesome how great getting into work at 8am feels! I am telling you, I love love love not being into work until then. I sit here have a couple (ok 3) cups of coffee, eat a little breakfast (what a concept?!?), check what movies are coming up, email a few friends and I will tell you it is the best thing I could have done for myself.

Leaving at 4pm is a little different. I feel guilt there. I am not even sure why. It is like I am doing something wrong. Maybe (as a good friend mentioned today) old habits are hard to break. I am doing my best to get out by 4 every day! Today was lesson planning, but I was even out before 5pm. I am so proud! Next week when grades aren't due the next afternoon, I will get my lesson planning done sooner, hell I might even kick out some lessons for the following weeks making things that much easier on me and my partner. I am READY to get out of there as soon as I walk into that lab. At least the valium helped today.....Now see why I could care less today?? LOL

I am staying out of HB's way as much as possible, of course it doesn't help when she comes to my room to let me know one of my girls misspelled the name of the school we are playing in basketball (btw....Lots of luck and good vibes to you, Coach!!!). Kind of hard to avoid her when she seeks me out LOL.

Have a great night all...I am off to have dinner with the fam and watch a little TV (still have things TiVO'd from December)

We're going down, down in an earlier round

And Sugar, we're going down swinging.

I talked to my area TSTA rep yesterday. Lots of good news.

First, I CAN'T BE FIRED for anything I did and the two SB policies she tried to nail me on are violated EVERY day in EVERY school around the district, so she can hold no ground on that one.
Second, I will be putting a call in to the TSTA help desk (it is manned by 2 lawyers and a long time para-legal) on Tuesday when they are back at work about some other issues.

Third, I was not insubordinate, like she told me I was. She knew I wasn't, which is why I was not written up at that time. At least that is what my rep told me, he said if I had directly told her no I would not meet with her for any reason then that makes me insubordinate.

OH...One other thing

I was guilted into keeping my cheerleading sponsorship until the end of the basketball season (3 weeks). She played dirty with that one and I am a little pissed. I am one of those teachers that lives and breathes her students for the nine months of school that they are with me. They are "my kids" not my students. I feel like a mom more than a teacher, so she told me that I hadn't thought of how I was going to hurt those girls by quiting on them with only 3 games left in their 8th grade year and I had been their sponsor for 2 years. She brought me to tears thinking about those girls, f-ing BITCH!!! That was dirty play, just so you know!

The blog you have all been waiting for

Ok....
If you read about my resignation letters, then you are probably wondering what has come of it all. First let it be known that I have not been fired, nor is there anyway they can fire me at this point in time.

Well, at 10:30 that night I must have gotten a phone call from the school (time stamped on caller ID) and the machine picked it up I guess. I heard the message later about being told to not come into school, I guess I was being put on admin leave without any due process. I don't think they can do that. Also, seems an e-mail was sent that did the same thing, telling me not to come into school:
"Considering the situation after school today, and your not being able to meet with me tomorrow, and your emails of resignations tonight, I really feel it would be best for you to stay home tomorrow and get an additional day of rest and time to grade your papers so you can complete your Progress Reports. I tried to call you and left a message on your recorder. I am following up with this email. Use middle school code 12 when calling the substitute system. Please plan to meet with me at 8 am on Tuesday morning in my office."
Again, once I read that after my morning duty, that sounded a LOT like being put on admin leave to me.

I was caught in the hallway by the head principal after duty and told to meet her in her office on my conference period (2nd period of the day). Once she found time to meet with me (she had me waiting in the front office for like 20 minutes), she called me and it was interesting, someone from human resources was there. Hmmmm, she didn't tell me anything about HR being there. Shouldn't that have been something she would inform me of in advance?

Here is what it all boils down to...
I broke two school board policies

1. I didn't write a letter to my principal to send to the assistant super over personnel about my intentions of selling Mary Kay. It seems that everyone in our school district that has a second job or any interests that they profit from (I think this might even include participating in eBay auctions) has to write a letter disclosing that information to the principal and the district. Very interesting, I asked if other teachers in the district had done that and I was told "We can't discuss other teachers with you". No you can't, but you can tell me if across the board if all of the other teachers have actually done this or not. So I am being singled out for this little school board policy when all these other teachers in the district with second jobs and such haven't written letters.
2. I misused government property for personal gain. I had no idea that out of the school hours (8-4) that I was doing anything wrong. I honestly didn't. But apparently, you have to have a lease to use the building anytime you use it for personal gain.

Well, no punishments were discussed, but my gut tells me she is getting ready to try and build a case against me to fire me. Sad thing is, she will not be able to actually do that. I will do my job and do it well, I will keep parents happy and loving me and I will work my butt off for those kids. But as I told the principal and the HR lady, I will no longer give her free hours of my time working for her and I will no longer tell her yes to any extra little duties.

Before this whole thing I would have said yes to her for anything she wanted; I would have done anything she asked. I was even questioned during the meeting why I sent an e-mail a week and a half ago offering to take on the 7th grade cheer squad when their sponsor got a job as an assistant principal in another district. I told her that I offered that because I would have done anything possible to help out her and the school and that I will no longer have that frame of mind with her after the way she spoke to me and treated me Thursday night. I did state that in front of HR. HR told the principal that she this is what she is hearing me say "I hear TexasGrey saying that she works very hard for you, puts in long hours and has been willing to do anything you ask of her and she feels you show her no appreciation for all of her efforts" To this the head principal had no idea what to say. I mean those of you reading this that have been in that building know what the hell I am talking about and it is true, we are NEVER appreciated for all we do.

Well, last night I got a call from a wonderful teacher in our building who is helping me get in contact with the regional TSTA person to talk about this. TSTA rep REALLY wants to talk to me and I was told I need to know how to get into contact with the TSTA lawyers whenever needed. I will no longer go into a meeting with the head principal without a representative there with me to take notes that is there for me, since I found out that the HR person who was in the meeting is a very close personal friend of head principal. Funny thing is hubs brought it to my attention that this HR person was the same person who helped me out about 5 years ago when I was being harassed at a building and told me if I ever need anything to let her know. So the next time I meet with her I will let her know my MIL (who directed me to her) says hello and once again thank you for her support and help with the situation at my former middle school.

Sad thing is, this principal really has no idea who she is dealing with and what she has done. She told me she is having to tell people how I have not been doing my duties and handling my responsibilities. Funny. I was told by another teacher, who has heard the principals talk about how professionally I have handled things with my department and within the building and how impressed they are with me. Interesting how I have gone from a teacher praised by principals, parents and other teachers, to someone they want to fire.

Anyway~ That is the low down on what is going on. Sad when a principal will run off good teachers because of her ego and pride.

Resignations

Wow....It is amazing how writing four resignation letters can take the weight off a person's shoulders.

Tonight, after being chewed by two principals, 4 times in about 40 minutes for the same thing, I decided that I am not going to do all of the bullshit I have been doing for them ANYMORE!! They have gotten way too many of my hours for free and it isn't happening anymore. One of my resignation letters went to the director of fine arts, one to the director of ed tech, one to the coordinator of Social studies and one to an assistant superintendent (that one will probably piss off the head principal!).

I have also decided that I am going to be one of those 8-4 people. Even if I get to school early, I will be in the dark with my desk lamp and WON'T answer my classroom door, even if someone knocks. I will not let myself be known in the building until I have too.

I think the next four and half month are going to be a lot easier to handle from here on out.

Focus on Me

Hubby says I take over a room when I go into it. I never knew this was a bad thing and I am spoiled brat that loves to be the center of attention, however he made it sound like it was a bad thing.

Well I thought about it a little. I am the center of attention for 8 hours a day 5 days a week (well for the most part I am). I have little people (ok, not so little and not always people) hanging on my every word as I teach them the great, wonderful information from Texas's past. (I know, who am I kidding?) But the reality of it, is the fact that I am the center of attention most of the time, I am the department head and responsible for running those meetings and my history teachers hang on my every word too. (Don't cha?? LOL) So why does hubs make it seem like a bad thing that I come into rooms and control what is going on around me and pull the attention to me? *sigh*

Well at the MK meeting on Monday he said I did this*.I don't think so, but I did have information to add that was important and questions I needed to ask. But I guess I talked too much.

Then at the WWs meeting, I was told I contributed too much there as well. I guess helping out the new people who decided this was their resolution for 2006 is not a good thing.

I told hubs I would just keep my mouth shut, but then I forgot again and as always the rest of this week I have maintained the idea: "It's all about me". And really it is*..I know it is a bad thing and I know a lot of people think it is rude when you are one of those people that thinks the world revolves around them, but it does revolve around me*..DEAL WITH IT :-)

Peace out

World's Shortest Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl, "Will you marry me?"

The girl said, "NO!"

And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing, hunting andplayed golf a lot.

Hubby's principal sent this out to the staff and hubs thought it was soooooo funny he had to share it with me so I am sharing it with you :-)

Question of the night for me

How to tell hubs he isn't the enemy and I love him with all my heart, but there is only so much of me to spread around and I am trying like hell to make a go of this business and I am so f-ing scared that I feel it in every fiber of my being and when I am being snippy it isn't him and I am not mad and it isn't pick on hubs and I am not poppin' (Picking on the Public), I am just not sure who to direct all of these feelings at and I am freaking out!!!!! I am scared. That is all it is and it is coming out as bitchiness and I don't know how to make it right to him, because it seems everything that comes out of my mouth seems mean. Maybe I will lose what is left of my voice and I can spend a couple of days on silent mode and make everyone happy.

LIFE

On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?" So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How bout I give you back ten like the Dog did?" And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?" And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog
gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

God and Partying Part Deux

Ok, we got God out of the way.......

So Saturday night after we got home from church we checked in with my fave neighbors next door (Trucker and Party Girl). They were getting ready to go out to eat and invited hubs and I to go to a dive of a bar with them after dinner. What the hell, sounds like a LOT of fun to me. So we go. Hubs and I started with a pitcher of Coors Light (you know, the whole WWs thing, watching my weight and all). Then I decided I wanted 2 shots of tequila brought to me. Jose loves me, always has, never gives me a hang over and he is my main man when it comes to something hard to drink. So have those and about 3 glasses of beer at this point.
Hubs and Trucker go to pick up Trucker's bike that he is trying to sell and there was this motorcycle gang (ok, not really it is a club, but they are cool) at the bar and they wanted to see the bike. So I am left with Party Girl, alone, both feeling pretty good and no men watching us. Party Girl is an awesome dancer and I hope once I get my body where I want it that she will help get to get some of those moves down. Hubs and I agree she could make a killing in a strip joint. She has that booty poppin' thing down! Anyway, Party Girl, hits the dance floor and all is going well, then these two guys try to sandwich her in between them. Well, one of these BIG black guys at the biker table (I think it was the one they called Sarge) gets up, takes Party Girl's hand and leads her away. To which I get up from my table to find out what the hell is going on. Come to find out Trucker was asked by the biker guys if he wanted them to watch his wife while the men left us there. So that is what he was doing. We were invited to their table and spent the evening hanging out with them.
Another friend of ours showed up at the bar and made eye contact with hubs, but told him to be quiet (this is while we are at the table with the biker gang). All the sudden I feel a person trailing kisses across the back of my neck. Party Girl was flipping out and trying to get hub's attention. It was quite funny. But this old friend talked me into going out on the dance floor, something I don't feel I should be doing for at least another 60 pounds (and that is weight loss people!), but I finally got pushed into it enough. It is this body image thing that I can't get past and as I tell a good friend (yes you are reading this) and he tells me enough, you have to start changing those old tapes and create news positive ones about yourself. I have a hard time with that, but I got out there and danced and it felt so awesome. I even had a guy come up behind me and grind and dance with me. Hubs, who was sober, told me I looked really good on the floor and I wasn't grossing anyone out.....see body image issues.
Hubs got me home around 2:30am and had to put me to bed, taking off all my rings and earrings and helping me get out of my clothes. I remember pulling up to the house, and being in bed, and PITA swears I talked to her when we got home (still don't know why she wasn't asleep), but I remember nothing from the truck (Trucker's F250) to the bed LOL. Hubs wouldn't even take advantage of me when I gave him permission.....such a gentleman.
So that was Saturday night......and I even got together with friends on Sunday night....AND, her wonderful new boyfriend (I really like this guy, but he probably thinks I am a nutcase, but then those of you who know me....it is probably true) lives in a part of Dallas where we can go to his place and WALK to like 20 bars!!!!!!!!!!!! I have NEVER been bar hopping......and even better, see he learned I am looking for a gay boyfriend, be damned if his roommate isn't gay and he said I could have him or he could help me find one. I really wanted one for Christmas, but alas, no gay boyfriend under the Christmas tree on Christmas morning.

Peace OUT my peeps.....more soon.....PITA has a new boy in her life :-) Will share soon.

God and Partying Part One

Such an odd way to put the title of this blog, but it really explains how my weekend was. Now you already know, that I dealt with the "cult" of Mary Kay and really bought in to it on Friday night. I fully joined in with all of them and I was "brainwashed" as I was told LOL. But you know what, if I can replace my teaching salary this year and help more and more women in the world become even more beautiful then they thought possible with make up.....who the hell cares if I joined the "cult"? :-)

God~
*WARNING: If you are very religious, please do NOT be offended by what you may read from here on out*
So, while at the "cult" meeting on Friday night, I decided it was time to go back to church. I am still pissed off at God (more for his rules than anything else) and decided that I it was time to go back. Mary Kay teaches her consultants to put God first, family second, and career third. So I thought to really make this thing work, that I need to get the God thing back in order. (A good friend of ours, told hubs and I last night that we were the ideal "church family" a few years ago, WOW, did we have everyone snowed) I told hubs I was ready. He was very happy to know I wanted to go back, because I think he has been aching to go back for a while. (Now you need to know that the first time we attended church was back in 1998 and it was about 5 days after I asked hubs for a separation (not even married for a year at that time) and the message that week was "How to mend broken relationships", talk about the elephant in the room kind of thing. I squirmed my way all the way through that service.) Well, we go to church Saturday night (just fits in better with our busy life), and I swear I am going to be struck my lightening trying to walk in the building because I am a heathen and those who know me well, know this about me. Luckily, I am here in Texas and we don't get rain here any more, just fires (BTW, David, can you PLEASE come to Texas, since you are Mr. Fire Prevention?, WE NEED THE HELP). We get the little booklet, that tells what this weekend's message is "The Great Divide Between Fear and Faith". I read that (mind you we are in our seats at church) and say....."God Damn Him". I thought hubs was going to fall out of his chair. UFB (un-f-ing-believable, for those that don't know)! Are you kidding me?? How is it, this ALL KNOWING being urges me and places me in the spot to go to church and the message is written for ME?!?! Are you f-ing kidding me?? I can't not believe that He did it again! Three years minimum I have been away from church, pissed at God's rules and when I need to find faith in myself and this risk I am taking by starting my little Mary Kay business and I am scared beyond freaking belief, the message he gives me on the night I decided I am ready to go back is just on that thing? DAMN HIM! If you don't realize already, I have serious God issues. I know He loves me no matter what and I know that I am forgiven all of my screw ups, but why does He have to shout out at me like that. Make me feel singled out and like He is talking directly to me? Ugh.

Partying.....will post on that shortly

Getting my YEAR IN GEAR

I went to a Mary Kay thing last night. It wasn't anything like I thought, and hubs says he can now see why some people call MK a cult. LOL. I think that had to do more with the getting everyone fired back up and the energy in the room built back up. It was 11:30 at night, many of us had started our days at five am because we had another J-O-B, many people were seriously wearing down.
Anyway, there was a new party debuted last night that I think is AWESOME!!! And it is more of a show than a facial which is better for me personally. I still don't love the one on one facials, but will get better at it and some of the women that attend a show will go ahead and either sign up for a show that will be "All about them", as this party is themed, or set up a facial with me so they can try more things. Anyway.....
We ended the night with one last thing. The lady talking to us was Robyn Blackmon-Dunda. Her mom is an NSD (National Sales Director for MK) and there was another NSD there (I really wish I could remember her name, she had been doing this for 39 years, "Hubs, just told me it was Jenna Cox"). I mean ladies were having these two women sign the boards they broke (more on that in a sec). They were treated like celebrities. It was very cool.
Anyway....I made a goal last night: To replace my teaching salary and quit teaching in 2006. Well they made me add a month (really Hubby and I were looking at doing this is 18 months), but I chose December. So I wrote all of this down on a board that was about 9x12 and 3/4 inch thick. As did many of the women in the room wrote their goals on boards. I added a "C" on there for my director because she is going for the caddy and I am part of the team that helps her achieve that, so her goal is also my goal.
I stepped up to the plate and I made my first attempt with my coach there coaching me on and my hubby and my unit there cheering......My hand glanced off the board. :-( The second time my coach psyched me up even more, she said this goal was MINE and I wanted it and I should be saying MINE.....I went after it, MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE.....And through the board my hand went. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I felt so empowered!

Here are the pics of my board:

HAPPY 36th BIRTHDAY HUBBY!!!

To my darling husband~

I will love you for my whole life. We have been through some really hard times and you put up with me even though I know I am one of the biggest pains in the ass you could ever have. You let me continue to be a spoiled little brat and love me no matter what.

I hope you have a WONDERFUL birthday!!!

Love~Hugs~Kisses~ and maybe a little something, something later *wink*

TG

5:15am

Damn that is early.

You know, it is breaks that kill a teacher. We get out of our normal routine and getting back on track is a bitch. Hell, I set two alarms, one at 5:15 and one at 5:25am, with every intention of having time for a shower and to fix my hair. Ummm, NOT. I only got in the shower and full make up before running out the door. Hubby came in at 6:30am and asked "Honey, are you getting up today?" and I said yes, what time is it......"6:30" SHIT!! That was the first thought through my head and of course I have to have someone to blame, so I blame hubs for letting me over sleep, even though he didn't have to go to work today since his school was using today as the comp day. Bless his heart for putting up with my BS most days.

It was awesome seeing everyone at school today. The hallway hottie, I think beefed up even more over break and his hug made my day like always....AND YOU ALL know I have permission from hubs!! :-P~~ Anyway.....We sit through an exhausting faculty meeting (thank God I downloaded Bejeweled for my phone). And once we were back in our rooms working or in meetings with principals, the HB (head bitch for those of you that don't know) sends out an e-mail that releases all of us who have our grades already locked in. Are you f-ing kidding me?!?! I locked my grades last night and had to get up before the rooster to go to school, sit through that pointless meeting and then be told, "Oh if you are done you can go" GRRRRRRRRRRR.

Tomorrow is another day and back to the normal daily grind which I am NOT happy, but at least now I know the whole district will be suffering with me :-)

DONE

GRADES ARE LOCKED AND LOADED!!!!

Now to figure out why the damn washing machine is flooding the laundry room. One little crisis at a time :-)

See my teaching buddies at school in the AM and everyone else.....see you when I do!

Peace out my peeps.....

Thinking back on an old friend

Every year at New Year's I think back on an old friend. He was a little extra light in a dark time in my life and my marriage. He wrote me a song back in '99 and sent me the words. I still pull them out every year and read them. I miss him and our late night talks. He was a trip and taught me a lot about myself back then. He sent me on journeys of discovery that I never would have tried without him suggesting it first. Just thought I would share these words, because as I sit here grading the last of my papers, I wonder what he's doing right now.

When l think of how you've been a friend, Jen
It occurs to me
What we have are beginnings, and endings
..and what l wish l'd see
We both know it's a matter of practicality
So l guess l'm just asking, that were it not to
be...if you'd....

Keep these word in your box of treasures,
and tuck them safely away,
It may be all that l have to give,
But l have hope for one day

And you know I've been thinking
about what we have here,
There's a lot that I'm feeling, about the end of the year
Because they say we'll have a new millennium
and the old one's going out,
But l'll be wishing it was me that was kissing you,
when they start to shout....

Keep these words in your box of treasures
If only for a night
I may be dancing all around the problem. but....
I won't give up the fight
5/99

I even once heard this to music and it was so beautiful. He was a talented man and I hope that SC has found the love of his life and is happy. I do however wonder how those kitties of his are. There is just something you got to love about cat people :-)!

Made it

Ahhhh.....

Life is cruel in the fact that I never think I will actually see January 1st every year. I am not sure when this fear exactly took over me, but I am so happy to know that I am here and alive today.

I hope everyone has a great start to the new year today :-) I am off to get ready for another facial. I put Mary Kay products on 16 people in 15 days!!! Just need 14 more before January 16th to get my 30 faces in 30 days! I am well on my way. I really hope that this turns into something successful.

I have decided my target audience needs to be cross dressers....Those men need a LOT of make up and hell, they would LOVE a personal make up consultant I am sure. Now, how to get to them.....hmmmmm, will have to work on this over time :-)