Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The journey....

I often tell people I have lived two lifetimes already.  Most laugh it off like I am exaggerating or making a joke myself, but I am not.  My life was never meant to be lived in sequential order like most people.  I think the fates decided to have some fun with my timeline.

Life number one:
I grew up like what I thought was most normal kids.  Parent divorced when I was 5.  Dad married the wicked step-monster and mom married her next disaster.  I got pregnant at 15.  Had PITA at 16.  Graduated high school a full year early and went off to college.  First week in college I met ex-hubs through a prank phone call (I made the call).  Life carried on in a normal fashion, I got a career, got married, bought a house and was living the "American Dream".  But I was unhappy and when ex-hubs left I enter purgatory.

Purgatory:
I feel like I kind of died when ex-hubs left.  I spent my time doing many destructive things.  I dropped off the radar and out of life for about a year and a half.  Purgatory was a dark time and place, but I learned many things about myself and what type of strength I have.

Life number two:
Once I got it in my mind that I was no longer going to punish and abuse myself, life number two started.  I believe that having PITA so young caused me to miss out on a lot of things I probably would have done as a late teen and early twenties woman.  With this start of life number two, I kind of started there.  I sowed some wild oats, had a great love affair with a younger man, adventures and funny stories that most people tell from when they were in high school and college (these adventures I had in my early 30s).  I spent the next 3 and half years learning so much about myself.  In this life I have learned to be in love with myself.  So many people are proud of me, but they have no idea how proud I am of myself.

These three stages in my life are so important and I want so bad to share the experiences with as many people as I can.  I found humor in the dark, good in the bad and myself when I thought all was lost.

Peace out my peeps....
This was just a rambling of thoughts today.