God and Partying Part One

Such an odd way to put the title of this blog, but it really explains how my weekend was. Now you already know, that I dealt with the "cult" of Mary Kay and really bought in to it on Friday night. I fully joined in with all of them and I was "brainwashed" as I was told LOL. But you know what, if I can replace my teaching salary this year and help more and more women in the world become even more beautiful then they thought possible with make up.....who the hell cares if I joined the "cult"? :-)

God~
*WARNING: If you are very religious, please do NOT be offended by what you may read from here on out*
So, while at the "cult" meeting on Friday night, I decided it was time to go back to church. I am still pissed off at God (more for his rules than anything else) and decided that I it was time to go back. Mary Kay teaches her consultants to put God first, family second, and career third. So I thought to really make this thing work, that I need to get the God thing back in order. (A good friend of ours, told hubs and I last night that we were the ideal "church family" a few years ago, WOW, did we have everyone snowed) I told hubs I was ready. He was very happy to know I wanted to go back, because I think he has been aching to go back for a while. (Now you need to know that the first time we attended church was back in 1998 and it was about 5 days after I asked hubs for a separation (not even married for a year at that time) and the message that week was "How to mend broken relationships", talk about the elephant in the room kind of thing. I squirmed my way all the way through that service.) Well, we go to church Saturday night (just fits in better with our busy life), and I swear I am going to be struck my lightening trying to walk in the building because I am a heathen and those who know me well, know this about me. Luckily, I am here in Texas and we don't get rain here any more, just fires (BTW, David, can you PLEASE come to Texas, since you are Mr. Fire Prevention?, WE NEED THE HELP). We get the little booklet, that tells what this weekend's message is "The Great Divide Between Fear and Faith". I read that (mind you we are in our seats at church) and say....."God Damn Him". I thought hubs was going to fall out of his chair. UFB (un-f-ing-believable, for those that don't know)! Are you kidding me?? How is it, this ALL KNOWING being urges me and places me in the spot to go to church and the message is written for ME?!?! Are you f-ing kidding me?? I can't not believe that He did it again! Three years minimum I have been away from church, pissed at God's rules and when I need to find faith in myself and this risk I am taking by starting my little Mary Kay business and I am scared beyond freaking belief, the message he gives me on the night I decided I am ready to go back is just on that thing? DAMN HIM! If you don't realize already, I have serious God issues. I know He loves me no matter what and I know that I am forgiven all of my screw ups, but why does He have to shout out at me like that. Make me feel singled out and like He is talking directly to me? Ugh.

Partying.....will post on that shortly