Doesn't even seem real

Tonight I took a major step in this finally getting my life back together thing I have been on lately.

I had a good day at work. Closed a couple of pretty great deals. SO wish I could find more, but I am getting the hang of this debt settlement thing. I believe I will do well with my commissions.

After work I went to look at a condo that was for rent. I was honest with the man about my background. Now I have to admit, he looks a lil like a slumlord, but I am going to give him the benefit of doubt and hope I am wrong. Anyway...I decided after I looked around that I wanted it. I put down the deposit and he even gave me the key. Now I need to make calls about electric, internet and DirecTV. Sigh....I am scared to death. I will talk to my counselor about that tomorrow.

It is odd to realize that by the time I move into this place I will have spent 36 years of my life living with another human being in the house. This will be my first time to ever live alone. I am scared of that thought, yet I am excited too. I can have company if I want, when I want. I have to learn to cook for one. I will have my kitty, unfortunately this didn't happen fast enough for his brother to join us, but he will be with Sam and I in spirit.

I am going to try to get some sleep.

Peace out my peeps...may you have blessings shower over you, as they have for me.

Seriously?!?! LOL

Princess PITA decided to go out on her own in February after she burned every bridge to those who were trying like hell to help her. She moved in with an ex of mine...the Thug. So she has been stripping to make money.

SHE GOT FIRED FROM THE STRIP CLUB!!!!

OMG....like I really can't even imagine how someone swings that. I know what she did, it wasn't illegal or anything like that, but she was showing up and not working. Because she was busy juggling two guys at once LOL. Dear dear PITA will you ever learn?

I know there are other things I want to write about, just not feeling up to it tonight.

Peace out to any peeps that stop by :)

SO I was thinking....

I had so many thoughts run through my head tonight while I was outside exercising my lung and enjoying the wet evening air.

First off...that little blog post I put up last night reminded me how good it feels to just let loose and hell maybe even someone will read it and might have something to say or gain from what I write, even thought what I write about are my random thoughts and experiences.

So first off, it is nice to know that what I can't put on Facebook I can blow the hell up with it on her.

Last night I got my ass handed to me by my daughter Princess PITA (for those that don't know PITA=Pain In The Ass) and her best friend of almost ten years. Now her best friend and I have gotten so close that I see her as a second daughter. She is preggers. We will call her.....hmmmm.....PITA2. PITA2 is dating a wonderful young gentleman named City. Now City is like a brother to me. Nothing I wouldn't do for him SuWoop!!! So those are the main characters for last night's drama called as the stomach churns.

I went by to see City after I got off work to chill for a bit, tell him about my killer day at work and see how things are going. Anyway he gets a call from PITA2, she is tripping balls. Tells him I better not be there and she better not see my car or she is going to go stay with her dad. City feels horrible. I have no issues with getting my stuff and going, I am just lost as to what was going on. He asked me not to hold this against him.

Then I see two passive aggressive freaking posts on Facebook LOL...THANK GOD we didn't have Facebook when I was in high school...anyway, one message is on her main wall and it is directed right at me, but the coward wouldn't say it directly to me, then she posts a message on Princess PITAs Facebook, which comes up in my News feed. Oh holy hell, for me to be in my mid 30s and to know the drama I experienced last night like I was freaking 16....I almost have to laugh my fucking ass off.

So I sent PITA2 a text message. Told her to come real to the one she is really pissed at. So then she calls, pissed cause I hadn't answered her texts, never got them, ran upgrades on my phone and finally started getting texts again....So she yells at me, because we had K2 (yeah, if you have an opinion, it is fine, but whatever). Yet this chick smokes weed EVERY day (and did you remember I mentioned...preggers). She whines and yells that he isn't allowed to have anything she can't. UNREAL...I hurt for my bro City....I know he loves her and I support them being able to stay together, but at some point he is going to snap.

Then I get a text from Princess PITA....wait you need the back story first.....so 2 years ago my daughter start screwing my ex, the Thug who got me deep into the drug scene, and had me smoking so much weed, the only time I would be sober was when I was at work, because that was the only place I was happy. God I hated having to go home at night that last year. Anyway....another time I can spew that mess. So she has been living with him, for about 8 mos, she paid all his bills by stripping. She finally decided to leave him and hook up with this man who is 4 years older than me (20 year age difference, I can't say anything...long story I will tell another time). Anyway she went back to my ex the Thug this last weekend. So the guy she was just dumped is a hopeless flirt. But nothing more. Yes he flirted with me, and in some ways found myself attracted to him, but I NEVER crossed the line of talking. So we were talking about maybe seeing what's up....this didn't happen until after PITA left him. PITA now says I am a bitch and other pretty nasty things to me because I dared talk to the guy. UGH.

At least I have Army to help keep me sane.....now he is the one I need to talk about at some point.

Peace out my Peeps....if you stopped by tonight and read...thanks, if no one ever reads these...all can say is it feels great to just throw the shit out there and not keep it bottled up

Just needed to vent

It has been ages since I have been in here, but needed to vent somewhere so here I am. I am too lazy to handwrite it into my journal.

It amazes me how some people can be....one minute, they are on your side, the next they are stabbing you in the back. I have to learn that people who are younger than me are unstable and difficult to deal with.

I don't feel I have done anything wrong, however, once again I am the villain. I am so tired of being the punching bag for others. My counselor keeps asking me why it is ok for others to treat me awful and I keep turning the other cheek. You know, it isn't ok, and I don't think I should allow it to happen anymore. I love these people with all my heart, feel that they are family. I realize now I am only good when I can come with something those around me want. UGH!!! I know I am not perfect. But I never mean harm.