Random thoughts on a Sunday night

So I just dropped the kid off at work (PITA loves her job...that is a good thing) and on the way I had sent ex-hubs one of the plate texts. He understands...I guess it is still part of that secret language we had when we were together and one of the goofy things we did. Anyway...he simply asked if I was ok.

I don't know how to tell him that I have been screaming inside again and want so bad to curl up and cry somewhere. I know it does no good...so I thought what the hell, I will post.

So here is what occurred to me earlier today...I have almost no friends. I think it happened while I was married. You spend so much time with your spouse and making a family and never doing things for yourself that if that relationship breaks up you are alone. Now we had lots of friends from jobs and things like that, but the funny thing about that for me, they were our "couple" friends. I don't think any of them knew how to handle the deep pain I was going through last year and they gave me time and pulled away. Lucky for him, he is dating someone who knows most of those people so I am sure she was able to slide right into the vacant spot I left without a lot of trouble. (Bitter, maybe just a little when it comes to that)

How does a single person make friends? I want to be able to pick up the phone and say "Hey, the kid is gone, want to catch a movie? dinner? shop? come hang?" You get the idea. But how does one do that? Most men, their goal isn't always to be friends and women are so hard to get to know...they just aren't trusting.

ok...and there is another thing. So this guy that I liked....ALOT more than I realized...just up and disappeared for months. Then out of the blue, once I am finally getting to a point where I am not thinking about him as much (yet he still pops into my mind unexpectedly), he sends a text. That was typical for us...but it said I didn't deserve him just disappearing, he had more going on in his life than he let on. Ok...and that means what. So I responded and per usual fashion...no response back. I don't know if that was him apologizing just because or his way of apologizing for not exiting better. Hell I don't know. I just know dating SUCKS.

There really isn't anything to share here, just needed to type a few things out...

Peace out my peeps....hope you are all having a great weekend and an even better start to the work week.