Consolation and Desolation

A couple of years ago there was this sweet little show on TV called Joan of Arcadia. It was a good show and maybe even helped to provide some hope occasionally. I was trying to pinpoint my feelings lately. So many to be honest and that show came to mind. In the season one finale Joan is sick and God won't talk to her any longer. The mom (Helen) says something at the end to her husband (Will) that spoke right to my heart and I hold out hope for more times of consolation than desolation:

Helen - I was talking to a priest today. I'm telling you now. I--wasn't gonna hide it. Do you want to hear what a priest said?

Will - Was it a handsome priest?

Helen - [Laughs] Not as handsome as you.

Will - Go on.

Helen - He said that we go through times on consolation and desolation. Consolation is when... things are flowing, and everything makes sense, and... you feel connected, and... you're aware that god is present and... has plans for you, maybe... even likes you a little bit. You remember that?

Will - Sometimes.

Helen - Desolation is the other thing. When you are... scared... and confused and alone and out of step, and your cell phone doesn't work, and... your daughter gets sick, and... the cops come to the door and say there's been an accident. God... retreats, and... you're left with your own thoughts, and those thoughts are...dark. There are answers there. He told me. And strength.

Will - How long does desolation last?

Helen - As long as it needs to.

Anyway, I know that I am in a time of consolation with my job. Things are flowing and going right. I am in desolation in other areas and I feel lost in those dark thoughts and want so bad sometimes to turn on the light to get the shadows to go away. But I know that these times are needed in one's life to help them find their way and help them grow. I hope I will find the answers and that I will come out stronger on the other end.

Peace out my peeps.