Father's Day

This year it is so much harder to get to Father's Day. It has been over a year since I have really talked to my dad. I tried at Christmas and we ended up in an ugly fight. I wanted to think that time would make it easier to not talk to him. I really thought that over time it wouldn't matter. That isn't the case. It hurts as much now as it did last year. I don't know what I am suppose to do. I thought about making a CD of songs that really speak about my feelings. He and I had a connection through music for as far back as I can remember. The hard part is all of these songs would have a lot of pain with them. I don't want Father's Day to pass without acknowledging it. I love my dad, we just don't see eye to eye and to be honest I think he sees me as a complete failure. I am not the person he wanted me to be and I tried for so many years to please him and realized that I was never going to be able to be what he wanted. I can't make him happy because I have my own ambitions and desires in life that aren't the same as his. It is hard after 30 years of trying to make one person happy and that was your whole goal in life to find that you can't ever accomplish it.

This is just rambling mess. Thoughts I need to get out. While I was listening to Fort Minor during my cool down I was in tears thinking about my dad and just needed to get this out somewhere.

Peace out......Hope everyone has a great day and remember to send out positive thoughts into the world today.