I often tell people I have lived two lifetimes already. Most laugh it off like I am exaggerating or making a joke myself, but I am not. My life was never meant to be lived in sequential order like most people. I think the fates decided to have some fun with my timeline.
Life number one:
I grew up like what I thought was most normal kids. Parent divorced when I was 5. Dad married the wicked step-monster and mom married her next disaster. I got pregnant at 15. Had PITA at 16. Graduated high school a full year early and went off to college. First week in college I met ex-hubs through a prank phone call (I made the call). Life carried on in a normal fashion, I got a career, got married, bought a house and was living the "American Dream". But I was unhappy and when ex-hubs left I enter purgatory.
Purgatory:
I feel like I kind of died when ex-hubs left. I spent my time doing many destructive things. I dropped off the radar and out of life for about a year and a half. Purgatory was a dark time and place, but I learned many things about myself and what type of strength I have.
Life number two:
Once I got it in my mind that I was no longer going to punish and abuse myself, life number two started. I believe that having PITA so young caused me to miss out on a lot of things I probably would have done as a late teen and early twenties woman. With this start of life number two, I kind of started there. I sowed some wild oats, had a great love affair with a younger man, adventures and funny stories that most people tell from when they were in high school and college (these adventures I had in my early 30s). I spent the next 3 and half years learning so much about myself. In this life I have learned to be in love with myself. So many people are proud of me, but they have no idea how proud I am of myself.
These three stages in my life are so important and I want so bad to share the experiences with as many people as I can. I found humor in the dark, good in the bad and myself when I thought all was lost.
Peace out my peeps....
This was just a rambling of thoughts today.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
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